Totally believable reasons for my absence from blogging.

I’d love to have a great reason for disappearing off The Blogosphere for almost two months. But, just like how it is with f.r.i.e.n.d.s. reunions and lattes that don’t propel my lactose-intolerant Asian stomach into some sort of award-winning modern interpretive dance, sometimes life just doesn’t give me what I’d love.

I mean, I can’t even blame it on the usual Real Life Commitments that most normal humans resort to, having spent the last month (my birthday month, no less) in some sort of unemployment pre-employment ennui because yes, I’m that friend.

Still, as tradition dictates (and because everyone knows lists are totally the best way to garner instant forgiveness), here are a few reasons why I could hypothetically have been MIA these past weeks:

  1. I finally took an Instagram shot so hipster that I instantly lost all my clothes, garbed myself in flowers, vines, and assorted half-dead fauna, and spent six weeks traipsing through golden wheat fields, laughing hysterically and spouting John-Green-style philosophical gems to no one in particular, surviving on nectar and Great Thoughts. (I might have confused hipsters with some kind of wood nymph. Or Lady Gaga on her off days.)
  2. The world actually ended last month and we’re all in hell and I’ve only managed to log on to the internet now to post this because, let’s face it, six weeks of no internet is hell.
  3. I did a single one of those Sit-Up things that fitness nuts are always raving about and spent the last six weeks convulsing on the floor from the spasms that my abdomen, unused to this torturous regime, undoubtedly went into.
  4. My dog ate my blog posts. Ok, this is super easy to call me out on…because everyone knows I don’t have a dog. Fine, fine. My cat ate my blog posts.
  5. I took one of those “Which Hogwarts house do you belong in?” quizzes and ended up with Hufflepuff and was quite happy because who doesn’t like to be categorised as, basically, “Miscellaneous”? And then I remembered that Edward was also from there and spent six weeks curled up in a ball (or, dare I say it, a puff?), sobbing quietly, sort of like Moaning Myrtle…’s friend, Whimpering Wastrel.

ps. In a bid to overcome the inertia of not blogging for so long and because I feel like I owe it to all my 7 5 2 readers out there (hi mom and dad!), I’ve decided to resuscitate this old thing with a whole series of posts highlighting some of my favourite things from the past months. Remember my Weekly Obsessions column? It’s gonna be like that, only each post will focus on one aspect (games, music etc.) instead of being free-for-all and will cover six weeks instead of one. So, in other words, not like that at all.

 

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